A letter to my former self ( Nursing Student)

Hey there Kym! Hope life is serving you well! I am writing to you on the upside of Nursing School ( Smile that means you made it!) It was SO tough, but you buggered through it! You work at the local nursing home ( I know, hard to beleive, but its not to bad.) Let me tell you being a nurse is....ok. Its not what you expected but then agian it might be because you are in LTC and your heart isn't really there. But that's ok too! Here is my advice to you ( or others who may be reading this) on how to survive nursing school.

First off Look at this bloggy thing. It's hilarious and you can relate to more than you think! =)

 http://whatshouldwecallnursingschool.tumblr.com/page/11

          You are working 2 jobs ( 1 full time, 1 part-time) and going to school fulltime, you sleep in your car between jobs and you see Mom and Pete once every 2 weeks, when you actually do make it home. You barely squeak by your first semester but you make it!

         Second Semester is the hardest for you. Pappy's health is rapidly declining and you go visit 2-3 times that summer to Pennsylvania.That last time you visit give him the biggest, tightest hug and kiss you can ever imagine, listen to him read you the bible, give him the card and go down to the giftshop where you will get a penn state pin and pillowcases from the hospital. Give him the biggest hug you can imagine. that will be the last time you see him , alive anyway. You are struggling SO hard with school. You are still working 2 jobs but only for the beginning of Summer. Catherine's lets you go, without letting you know ( apparently she did that to 1/2 the people that worked there, never got their last day memo either.) You barely squeak by in Pharmacology, but you make it. Med-Surge however you do not pass, you miss it by 2 points. After the Summer Semester ends ( Mid-September) You face MAJOR depression. You failed out of school, Pappy is declining and in and out of the Hospital, you are now completely jobless, your relationship is horrible ( turns out later he was just a jerk all along ;) and you just suck into this depression vortex. I would tell you things get better, but it is not for a little while

   October 24th 2010 at 0500 am Sunday Morning, you get a phone call. Or rather the house gets a call on the house phone. Pappy has passed away without warning ( even though his health was declining, it was still a surprise, due to the fact that he was supposed to come home that Monday) This sends you into an even deeper depression, but thankfully it only lasts for a little while. That was the hardest goodbye you ever had to say. To this day it still makes you cry. In fact, writing this post about it makes you cry. Funny how the mind and feelings work like that. That October you and your 3 best buds have a mystery halloween party on halloween. I will never forget that and I will never forget how they cheered me up, just days after Pappy's passing. I also remember James being really nice and supportive during that time. He was ok sometimes. While you are up there you get 2 job interviews, one at Michael's and one at Kohls. You get the job at Michael's and your boss is so super duper nice and the best boss ever. Then he retired, but he totally deserved it.

   Fast forward to March. Your grammy winn starves herself and is a failure to thrive and passes away. You are sad, but it doesn't really effect you to much. IT sounds mean and pitiful I guess, but the truth is its hard to miss someone who disowned you and was hateful to you the last time you talked. You forgive her now, but its hard to forget those things. You do have a pretty good time with your Dad in PA those 3 days, he seems pretty stable and normal. That's good.

    In April you re-apply to the LPN program in Farmville. You wait and wait and wait and wait, your friends all get back in but you don't get a letter stating you get back in. That is until 1 week before class starts. You will THRIVE this time. You end up with a 86 in Med-Surge and do well , you are very confident and so different from last year, you instructors can see it too. You learned that the proper success is to STUDY super hard , have a good study group ( <3 a="a" amp="amp" autumn="autumn" boo.="boo." close="close" friends=")</p" group="group" have="have" holly="holly" is="is" it="it" of="of" outside="outside" resources="resources" thing="thing" to="to" too="too" use="use" wonderful="wonderful">

  You Pass to Third Semester, by this point you are just ready to graduate and have a countdown to the day ! ( actually you have had a countdown since second semester) Clinicals are no longer Scary. Just kidding. Clinicals are always scary , but you survive! When you get into the 'real" world, you learn procedures are not really as scary as they seem in clinicals. Like now you are a peg tube BOSS! =) You have survived LPN school, ending up with a B and an A in your last 2 courses. Graduation was so super special. Grammy came down, and you started crying during graduation because of what you wore under your collar and the message you wrote . Mom and Pete took pics and taped the whole thing =) You have watched it 3 times now. It's beautfiul life.

   For the NLEX, you take a break during Christmas, but you study study study study. When you are not working at Micahels you study. You use Kaplan over and over and over, find other trainers buy 3 different books. You study like a Boss ( It is well worth it!)

   The Morning of NCLEX you pray , and then you talk to Pappy for a little bit ( and cry a teeny bit too.) You make Your Peppermint Mocha Coffee, leave the house at 0700 for the test at 1030/1130. You eat something, but I don't remember what. The whole way driving there you just are relaxed, calm praying, singing, doing lab values. The last thing you do is read your bible verses, say another prayer, take a deep breath and go inside the building. The only thing I will say about the NCLEX is MAN it was HARD! Your test shuts off at 85 questions and you freak out a little bit. You took it on a Friday and you have to wait until LATE monday night to find your name on the phone registry thing ( incidentally you are with your Bestie and squeal like a little girl over and over) You do not fully believe you pass until you get the paper copy in the mail, which you immediately frame. Also the NCLEX people are SCARY! You feel like you are getting ready to go to prison with all the pictures and scanning and whatnot that they do. They scanned my hand, my ENTIRE hand.

  What is the moral to this letter Kym? Besides telling you your story there are some morals right? Of course silly.

     1 ) Yes, Nursing school is ridiculously hard- but you DO make it through and learn that sometimes you wish you would be back there ( not for the studying part, but for the "fun" parts)

 2)  study study study study study study study study study study (have I mentioned study)

3) ALWAYS do your patient research for clinicals AS SOON as you get home ( then you can go to bed by 9pm and wake up bright and cheery! also make sure you know ever miniscule detail, look up labs, procedures , tube feedings etc. ( you were terrified of PEG tubes and trachs.) (you still hate dealing with trachs.)

4) Keep pushing through, you will be ok!

5) You and James breakup mutaully- you talk every now and then, it seems to work out best that you don't date

6) It's ok to be scared. I think it is a natural reaction to the situation, everyone is scared, we probably look like a little herd of deer.

7) It's ok to ask questions ( but you usually and rarely will.)

8)Stop beating yourself up for every mistake- you aren't perfect, no one is ( you will continue to beat yourself up throughout the duration of school and your job)

9) Find a group of students that you get along with, nobody else will understand what you are going through, the long hours, the frusterations, but they will. Find them, cherish them and keep in touch with them . =)

10) Find an outlet to handle your frusterations & take a day off ( or a night off, whichever you can afford) Find something that relaxes you and makes you happy.

    Know that when all is said and done you will by K.Izawesome LPN and life will be peachy keen forever ever after ( HAHA who are we kidding! =) ) Stay tuned to my next post on being a New Nurse 6 months =)

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